Being Your Own Worst Critic

Self-criticism isn’t hard to come by these days. In this world of ultra-skinny super models and mega-fit movie stars, oftentimes we find ourselves taking a personal inventory and assigning positive and negative labels to those traits we find within. The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism comes in the form of the attitude we use while doing so. If we are judging the various attributes from a harsh light, then we are being critical rather than simply being aware. Self-criticism isn’t about looking at reality and looking for ways to positively grow, it’s looking at yourself, finding the flaws, and reinforcing the message, “You’re not good enough.” In this article, discover ways to reinforce the positive – and create an environment in which you are set up to succeed, not fail.

Most full-length mirrors should warn, “objects in mirror are not always what they appear”. Although a mirror is flat plane, reflecting light and the image standing before the glass, what we see in the mirror is often far from an objective impression of our true selves. Rather, it is an interpretation of a visual stimulus – very much a subjective self-appraisal that is influenced by our emotional state, our preconceived notions. Sometimes, when we feel out of control of issues or events in our lives, we see unsatisfactory changes in our bodies.What you see in the mirror is not a reflection of your body as much as it is a reflection of your body image. What’s in the mirror is your existing level of self-esteem. It’s your current mood state, your stress load, your hormones, your history, and your everyday life.

Take stock. As you start to criticize the image before you, the under achievements, or failures in your life, pause to reflect on your accomplishments. Have you made gains with your training program? What are they? Have you recently fit into clothes you haven’t worn in years? Write these down occasionally (if not daily) to further reinforce the pluses. It is important to move toward a positive goal: “lose ten pounds of body fat”, “gain fifteen pounds of lean muscle mass”, or “lose three inches in my waist and hips” - not just away from being overweight, thin, or simply not looking the way you would like to. Every step you take will bring you closer to being who you want to be.

Measure your accomplishments strategically.

o Compare your progress by body measurements… not by the image you see in the mirror or on the scale. Utilizing a tangible source to analyze your success is important in reinforcing the healthy habits you have committed to, in order to achieve your goals.

o Get your body fat tested. According to the American College of Sports Medicine, hydrostatic (underwater) body fat testing is the gold standard and most accurate of all. It is fairly inexpensive (ranging from $5 to $15, depending on what type of feedback is being offered in return.) If your gym doesn’t offer this service, call another gym that does and ask for information. Have another test done in 3 months and compare your results.

o Use before and after photos. While we may hate having them taken, those “before” shots are priceless. It is not about judging yourself for what you looked like when you first started, but appreciating how far you have come along the way.

o Create a positive support system. Eliminate the negatives from your life. Give yourself permission to re-evaluate friendships or relationships that cause you to view yourself in a negative light. You may need to separate yourself from those who influence your life with psychological negativity, verbal put-downs, and refusal to accept and support the changes you have decided to make.

o Give yourself positive self-talk. For every negative script that starts running through your mind, repeat five positives to emphasize who you are, how far you have come – or if you’re not there yet, how far you WILL go to make it happen.

Change your MIND. In the book Fattitudes byJeffrey R. Wilbert M.D., it is suggested that empowering yourself to eat responsibly, mindfully, and purposefully allows an individual to control eating habits which may be self-defeating. He continues to say that learning new ways to take charge of our lives can end feelings of helplessness as we learn to manage without self-defeating behaviors.

Deborah Low, a certified weight management and lifestyle consultant in Vancouver, British Columbia, states, “We have an all-or-nothing attitude: If we don’t do our full hour at the gym, we may as well sit around and eat junk food. If you feel guilty and punish yourself, you may eat ten cookies instead of 2. If you criticize yourself, you’ll never change.”

See if you can change what you see in the mirror by changing the thought pattern in your head. Next time you look in the mirror and see something you dislike, take a time out to ask yourself some important questions:

1. What am I feeling?

2. Is something bothering me?

3. How can I cope more directly with personal stress?

4. What can I do to meet my own needs?

5. How can I nurture the struggling person before me?

6. How can I value myself as a unique human being?

In all… Lighten Up! Don’t let the old adage, “he can’t see the forest for the trees” be your life’s map! Explore the good which others see in you, play up your attributes, minimize the things you dislike… but always, always put your best self forward. Taking stock of ourselves, our gifts, our talents, our challenges, and knowing we have made progress is equal to success.

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Tags: muscle mass

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Tags: muscle mass